A fairytale for physics nerds
If my heart was a book, this is what it would look like.
This poetic picture book shines a light on a little girl growing up under the stars, told through the voice of the life cycle of a star. It highlights what fatherly love looks like, and what can take its place when it’s gone. We see the beauty in the light and the dark parts of life. And are invited, when we look up at the vast universe at night, to ponder whether our tiny little life really matters at all.
I made this book as part of my MA Children’s Book Illustration at the Cambridge School of Art, and its the one that makes me feel the most. It was the first time I worked backwards, making the pictures first based on what really lit me up, and trusting that the text would come…a resal adventure in the heart!
This is how it came together.
Explore the Universe
A few years ago I made a book called ‘The Girl Who Walked to the Moon’. It remains my bestseller after 3 print runs and I felt it was time for a sort of sequel…another book about exploring space.
To gather inspiration I visited the Science Museum and British Museum. But was knocked off course when I found drawing the exhibits to be a bit boring(!) I’m used to drawing outside in the natural world and found all the techy details a bit lacking in ‘life’.
I consoled myself with a treat entry to the IMAX cinema that was showing a film about the International Space Station. Seeing how being in space changes our perspective on life was fascinating. I was mesmerised when flying through the galaxies, enjoying the feeling of insignificance in being engulfed by something much greater than me.
I was hooked!
Make lots of images - what makes me feel?
With a spark of inspiration and wonder ignited, I bounced into my first tutorial with fabulous picture book creator Birgitta Sif. Her advice was to explore what the stars mean to me. To draw on times in my own life where the stars played a role and find out why I’m so excited to make a book about the stars.
So I started playing: I drew from old family photos; made prints about the James Webb telescope images that I love talking about with my husband; made sketches of our first kiss outside Bristol restaurant ‘under the stars’; remembered camping trips under the Milky Way in the Americas; and made imaginative work about my place in the stars.
Some emotive images and characters started to emerge, like the James Webb print below which later made it onto the book’s cover. And the theme of the human life cycle became a ‘thing’.
Keep it simple
Some parts of my own story under the stars didn’t translate easily into artwork. A difficult time of life was when my Dad was dying and I’d drive home to visit him every weekend, often in the dark on the motorway with the stars hidden from view. The image below of a panelled print I made to depict this struggle was awkward, unreadable, and didn’t make me feel good.
I took a change of tact on difficult topics, choosing instead to look at how my Dad and I enjoyed looking at the stars together in paintings of our favourite artists. We’d visit galleries and the science museum to spend quality time together as a family. This resulted in images that made me feel a lot more.
Making a book about my life (because that’s what this became!) is such a beautiful opportunity to remember things in the way that serves me the most. I see now how it doesn’t serve me to cement a few months of difficult more recent memories onto the page when there are years and years of magical ones that are far more worthy. Thanks pops.
Draw with light
I knew monoprint was the right medium for this project because it is additive and reductive - I can put ink on and take it off. Being able to wipe away stars and constellations with my fingers helped me be far more daring with using darks in my artwork. And allowed me to consciously choose where I wanted light to shine…
…through this book I am God!
Print, print, and print some more
I made some amazing print room friends who provided me with daily support and feedback in the form of encouraging positive noises - lots of ooing and ahhing (you know who you are!) As someone who thrives on praise this really kept me going through the challenge of making my first ever image-led monoprint book. Fuelled by my ‘print room hype squad’ I produced a LOT of artwork in just 2.5 months that helped me to find the story in a really fun way.
I found this ‘thinking through making’ approach to be super enjoyable (thinking through thinking is definitely overrated).
Filter for a young audience
The idea of this MA module was to examine the relationship between Illustrator and Audience. To think about how we as adults can make art that is true to ourselves whilst also appealing to a child audience (The Paradox!)
Although I struggled with this initially it actually served as the ideal filter through which I could narrow down my selection of images for the book. Having produced so much artwork, how was I going to choose just 12 spreads?!
So I removed some of the more mature relationships and interactions (dating, pregnancy, risky adventure) and focussed on the younger years of the character. The story circles back to a familiar family relationship at the end where our main character has grown up to be a mother, and have children of her own.
Choose some words
As I’d taken an image-led approach I left the story writing till the end. All I knew was that it was about lifecycles and stars.
I tried song lyrics from 2 Coldplay tracks that had inspired the book: Yellow, and Higher Power. Putting these next to the images helped to storyboard the book. I can’t say that my tutor was impressed with the result(!) but I know it helped move me in the right direction.
Then a week before hand-in (only minor panic setting in) I went out for a run to mull over the story. Queen Of The Stars showed the life cycle of a girl growing up under the stars…so maybe the words could tell the story of the life cycle of a star?!
I did it!
It worked! AND introduced some interesting rhythmic syncopation - a gap between the images and text that invited the reader in to draw parallels between their own life and the life of a star. Cool.
After all, “We are all made of star stuff.” (Carl Sagan, 1980-something).
A twinkle of magic
Queen Of The Stars was the first time I made a book with so much trust in the process. A loose theme and feeling guided me through, but the results are more heartfelt than any project I’ve ever made. I still cry most times I read the book. And my lovely husband smuggles a fair few nostril flares whilst he’s helpfully editing (nawww).
I realise how in making the book I answered a really important question for myself that I didn’t know I had - to see how incredibly loved I am by the men in my life. ‘Look at the stars, look how they shine for you,’ are the words that most remind me of my father. He showed me in the way he knew best…to get me excited about being in the world, and lay the best foundations for me to thrive in it.
Look at the stars, look how they shine for me.
Thanks papa, I really really feel it now.
Queen Of The Stars is out in the universe looking for a starry-eyed publisher. Have a closer look at Queen Of The Stars in my portfolio and do get in touch if you’re interested in working together to bring this epic story to life.
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